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The Taboo of Suicide
By Linda Lang
In Western culture suicide has long been considered taboo.
In fact, many religions consider it such a sin that they will
not allow someone who has committed
suicide to be buried in "hallowed" ground. Families
will go to great
lengths to hide a suicide and there is tremendous shame associated
with
the act. It is considered a sign of weakness or cowardice.
There are many reasons that people take their own lives.
Today, because
of modern medical miracles, people are able to live longer
with fatal diseases; this brings up quality-of-life issues.
In end-stage cancer, for example,
patients knows that they are dying, but the pain may be so
overwhelming, and their abilities so limited, they no longer
feel their life is worth living. This is one area where research
is actively being pursued and statistics are being compiled
on suicide.
There is a very big difference between living with a chronic
disease such as CRPS/RSD and actively dying with a disease
such as cancer. Although a literature search reveals claims
that CRPS/RSD patients have an extraordinarily high incidence
of suicide, and a CRPS/RSD patient actually read testimony
into a Subcommittee on Health in June of 2001, saying that
CRPS/RSD leads to death and the leading cause of that death
is suicide, there is absolutely no evidence to support these
statements, in fact there are no statistics at all on CRPS/RSD
and suicide. When asked about it in 2001, Dr. Robert Schwartzman
said, "…there is no data on RSD and suicide. It
clearly happens and is almost always attributed to other causes."
He adds that out of 73,500 patients, he has had only three
that he is sure did commit suicide.
What Our Members Have Said About Suicide
I have received so many questions about CRPS/RSD and suicide
that I sent an alert via the RSDSA website, asking anyone
with CRPS/RSD who had seriously attempted suicide, thought
about suicide, or knew of someone with the disease who had
committed suicide to contact me. Within three hours I had
50 responses.
The results of this very informal survey were very revealing.
The most interesting to me was that there were just about
an equal amount of responses from males and females. About
15% said they had made serious suicide attempts. Of that number
all but one reported that they were terribly grateful to be
alive. Most got psychiatric help, some committed themselves
voluntarily to an in-patient psychiatric facility.
A common thread was that respondents realized how much they
loved their families and how selfish their act was because
if they had been successful, the victims would have been their
loved ones.
I got the feeling that none of them really wanted to die,
they just wanted their situations to change. It was not just
the pain that was a trigger, but the feeling of being useless-
or even worse- that they were a burden to others.
Most of the responses were from people who said they thought
about suicide with some frequency, though they doubted they
would ever go through with it. Some felt that CRPS/RSD had
taken away so much control from their own lives that thinking
about suicide was a way of reclaiming that control, of feeling
that if things ever got to be too much they could be in charge
of their own body again by ending their lives. This was presented
as a comforting thought, and actually helped them live more
successfully with the CRPS/RSD. Others said that their religion
prevented them from killing themselves. Many of those who
contemplate suicide seem to already have established some
kind of lifeline to help them.
There are several lessons that can be taken both from the
patients who wrote in and from other sources on suicide. Living
with a chronic pain disease such as CRPS/RSD is very difficult.
It is easy to feel depressed or even hopeless. This does put
CRPS/RSD patients at a higher risk for suicide than the general
population. But there are also many things that can be done
to help ourselves want to live. Unlike the terminally ill,
we have a choice. Just like in the movie, It's a Wonderful
Life, think of all that would be different if you were not
here. Think of the advice you gave your best friend which
prevented her from making a terrible mistake. Remember the
smiles of encouragement you gave to someone who was trying
very hard to learn a new task. Think about how others depend
on you, not because of what you can do for them physically,
but for the love you give them, the patience you show in listening
to their problems. There are probably lives that you affected
without even realizing it. It is not uncommon for someone
to say just the right thing at the right time that can help
change someone else's life.
Think about all the things you can still accomplish. Our
value as a
human being is not measured so much by grand acts as it is
by the little
things we do and say each day. At the same time, remember
the things
that give you pleasure: laughing with friends and family,
the smile of a
child, even the taste of a good meal. The other thing to hold
on to is
that CRPS/RSD does not remain static. Our pain is not always
a 10. We do
have some days that are better than others. And most of all,
remember
that CRPS/RSD is not a terminal disease. There is more hope
than ever that
medicine will find ways to help make our lives better. But
we need to be here for that to happen.
Hotlines and Crisis Intervention
There are times when none of this may be enough and you find
yourself in a crisis situation, a time when you go from thinking
about suicide to actually formulating a plan. Hopefully you
will not be alone and someone will pick up on the signals
that you are sending. It is very hard at what might be the
lowest point in your life to save yourself. But in most cases
there is still a tiny voice telling you that you really want
to live, that what you actually want is to feel no more pain,
but not necessarily to die. Try to listen to that voice.
There are now many wonderful 24-hour suicide prevention hotlines
with well-trained and compassionate staff ready to listen
to you. I particularly recommend the Samaritans, who are non-sectarian,
totally non-judgmental and have a presence in many cities
around the world. You can check the Internet for one that
is in your area. Also, you can look in your telephone book
for your local hotline number. Keep it in several places so
that you don't need to go looking for it. To take away some
of the fear of calling in a crisis, call when you are feeling
low just to see what it is like. You do not need to be at
the breaking point to make the call.
Caregivers
There are many signs to look for if you think someone you
know may be
suicidal. Remember, you should always take it seriously when
someone
says they wish they were dead. In the next issue I will write
more
about these signs, what causes someone to want to commit suicide,
what
places someone at risk for suicide and how a family can learn
to live
with a suicide's death.
Please continue to e-mail me on this topic. Send questions
that you may
have. Talking about suicide does not increase the chances
that you will
do it. Sometimes bringing it out in the open, no matter how
painful,
can make the difference between life and death. CRPS/RSD has
taken away a
lot from all of us. Don't let it take away our lives.
Note: I am very thankful to all who took the time to respond
and to share such personal information with me. I wish I could
answer each of you individually, but the numbers were so overwhelming
that it would be impossible.
Useful websites for Information on Suicide
Suicide and suicide prevention
www.psycom.net/depression.central.suicide.html
American Association of Suicidology
www.suicidology.org/index.cfm
Samaritans Suicide Prevention Hotline of NY
www.samaritansnyc.org
Samaritans
www.samaritans.org
AFSP
www.afsp.org
National Strategy for Suicide Prevention
www.mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/suicideprevention
Suicide Prevention Action Network
www.spanusa.org |
